Why I Suck at Business…

…but not more than the internet, apparently. This should never have taken me 45 minutes to get these pictures in here and STILL cannot get the picture to rotate. But alas, I also had help from a 13 month old with pineapple juice fingers and a flatulence problem.

I love creativity. Ever since I was a child I had a certain propensity for the arts. I loved to draw, write, and just use that other part of my brain. I had imaginary friends. According to my mother I was somewhat of a handful because of my inability to follow conventional norms and rules- it was not that I wanted to rebel, I just felt there was a better and nore fulfulling means to an end. I refused to wear a shirt outside because my Dad didn’t have to wear a shirt when working in the yard, I stuffed my shoes wth maxi pads because I wanted to have Dr. Scholl’s comfort (keep in mind these were early 1980s manxi pads which undoubtedly could have doubled for phone books), and the topper was when my Grandfather died when I was in the first grade I drew a picture of him in heaven and my Grandma on earth with her new boyfriend– my Dad’s single friend Greg– I thought I hit the jackpot with this combo- who would have guessed I would be the first Polish yenta. (She is 96 years old and still single, btw). Basically my whole life I have been running away from math and figured with a little panache I could avoid it completely.

The arts are not that much different than social work. You can put your blood, sweat and tears into your vocation and society feels you took a vow of poverty. When you feel passionate about something it seems you should be giving away your wares. I have yet to understand this- but this is why I also suck at business. I give things away far too often. I think this is because my mother always gave things away to people and I inherited this generosity. I don’t know if it is some odd way of paying it forward or just appreciating all the generosity of others I have experienced all my life. I see on facebook people offering to sell things all the time. I feel weird making money off of people. AGAIN. I suck at business. Please do not take this as I am not an asshole. I really am; but if I was a man I would be considered one hell of a mover and shaker.

Not being able to bear my own child from my loins, if I have loins, I am too tired to google this- I guess we never learned this term in school- needless to say it has turned me into a hustler. I work a second job when I can fit it in my schedule. I can only spend so many hours away from my family. I essentially have two children.   I decided to embrace my creative drive and be able to spend more time with Gianluca by making items at home. Since the insurance is no longer an option for our carrier, Stephanie, I have to stock a nice pile of dough.

I love to make wreaths. Below are some of the wreaths that I have made to sell. The profit margin is quite slim- if you have ever been to Michael’s you will see they have wreaths for sale and these are more than half the cost, if not more. These are the only pieces I have. I am in the process of creating paintings as well as other baubles and as soon as these are done I will post them as well.

This keeps me from stripping and getting arrested. The first patron that makes me mad will end up getting beaten with my shoe. Well, that and the eleven screws in my leg keeps me from it. Oh, and my body. Other than that, it is a contender for paying my baby momma in all singles.

Please also do not forget I am selling Grace Adele handbags and accessories— scantamburlo.graceadele.us for your online orders.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you should happen to have any questions.

Holiday/Winter Wreath – $30
(for the life of me I have tried 90x to rotate this image)

Winter Holiday Wreath with Bling- $35

Fall/Thanksgiving Wreath- $35

I Enjoy Looking at Many Different Shaped Packages.

I cannot believe how infrequently I get to write. At the moment the baby is sleeping and there was a part of me that thought- awesome- I will get a nappy in as well, but how could I leave people hanging for more nuggets of wisdom?

Despite the fact that my father thought the internet would collapse under the weight of itself around 2000 A.D., it is still here and thank the baby Jesus that shopping became more mainstream. It truly is a convenience and I actually end out ahead with coupon deals, not using gas to get anywhere in the car, ebates rewards and some sites not charging tax.

Which I always declare on my taxes.

I’m done coughing now.

Wednesday I was off and took Gianluca to the mall with me to find him a birthday shirt for his party. Somehow we ended up in the shoe department for Mommy. Needless to say his diaper literally weighed as much as he did and I was fairly certain that as he sat on my lap it was getting warm. But I had the woman in the back digging out all the clearance size 10 shoes. WTH WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!

But the internet is not only for shoes and clothes and the baubles I so love. I purchase a great deal of furniture online as well. This flabergasts people and truly I have yet to have a poor experience.

When we moved into the new house we needed larger pieces to fill the area and I was not impressed with what we saw in the stores, nor the prices. I turned to Overstock, or o.co

I already paid the $19.99 for the year to receive free shipping on all purchases as well as 5% back on said purchases. Somedays there are even specials with up to 25% cash back on certain items.

I knew I wanted a leather couch. A LEATHER couch. Not pleather, not bonded leather, or any other combination. Please don’t judge and give me some hippy dippy response. The cows were old and going to die, I asked. The best part is there are tons of reviews to sift through as well. For sake of a poor memory, let’s say the couch was about $2,000 — well, it shipped free and then I got 5% back to spend within o.co that I used for more furniture. I also went through ebates.com and received 3% back in that account. The only downside for large, expensive pieces that depending where you live you may wait up to six weeks for delivery. But honestly, I would put waiting for quality over schlepping in crap to my house. It was delivered when I was on maternity leave and the guys were so nice that they moved the couch three times until I thought it looked good. That and I probably looked so ugly and unkempt they didn’t want me to bite them if I lost it.

We also purchased our bedroom set from o.co. It was important to me that we get an actual wood set. Once you start reading the materials for what you get and you realize you are paying for majority particle board. Again, same great deals as above. PLUS- I used the bill me later option and had 6 months to pay with no interest. The bedroom set was delivered while we were in Toledo for Gianluca’s delivery and they set up the set as well.

I have ordered ottomans and chairs and they are delivered rather quickly- just like a standard package would. But there is no white glove delivery service like above. Just the regular UPS guy that hates us because we get a lot of packages. By the time it has been all said and done, we probably earned in returns $500 or so in ‘free’ furnture and rugs.

Brian just said today how much he loves our couch as we watched a Bridezillas marathon.

Another website I like for furniture is www.homedecoratorscollection.com. It is a division of Home Depot. I purchased our office furniture and a couple other pieces for the house from there. Just as with o.co, I used coupon codes, ebates and the home depot credit card to extend payments. Office furniture was a huge hassle to lock down. The collections I loved were about $5-10k. I did not exactly ask Brian, I just took liberties to assume this was out of our price range. I have very specific contemporary traditional tastes and was estatic when I saw a complete set and it was not as much as a used car. The only downside is a lot of stuff that comes from Home Decorator’s Collection you must put together. And if in any way you are a moron, do not buy it. The directions are pretty poor and they also sent us a couple wrong pieces, but we liked the collection was much, it was ‘worth’ it. Brian put it together and it took hours for the whole office- but it looks great and it all wood, not MDF. There is no way I would have been able to do it. I came outside late one night to the garage and he was swearing they sent the wrong piece and he was drilling another piece to correct the wrong holes and I said- ‘someone in China right now is laughing his ass off at you’.

The biggest hurdle to overcome with furniture purchases is to gain confidence. Trust what you read and what your gut says. If you read the measurements and you doubt it will work- DON’T BUY IT. The stuff doesn’t grow or shrink on delivery. If I ever read that something looks cheap in a review I tend to pass over it then. I am satisfied with my purchases because I take a lot of time and do a lot of legwork price comparing as well.

Ahh, I feel so accomplished now.

Sarah Sells Grace Adele

A lot can happen in a year.

Gianluca celebrates the big O-N-E next month and looking back I have to wonder how we even did it.

We waited for months waiting to hear about adoption after investing at least $10k and countless hours in social work visits, brag books and paperwork and realized it may take even more time than we anticipated. I had done a rotation in school in Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility where I had also happened to be a patient for the past two years. After my 3rd or 4th miscarriage and D&C a fourth year fellow took me aside and asked me why I hadn’t considered surrogacy. He told me that his sister had done it and it was a great step for their family that resulted in twin girls. The other big thing he told me was no matter who gives birth it doesn’t make you less of a mother, being a mom is what makes you a mother.

Well, when I have my mind made up to do something, come hell or high water, it will get done. We were going to do this. I spent hours at the end of PA school researching surrogates, trolling boards, reading Michigan laws (it is illegal in Michigan- I know, crazy), and figuring out how the hell people pay for this. Finally we settled on our agency and then the point came when Stephanie and I chose each other as perfect fits.

Then the fun part came. Contracts, lawyers, medicine, insurance, you name it, I had to figure it out. By this point I was working so I would go to Ann Arbor early in the morning for a 7 am appointment and head into work as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Getting my eggs ready was a feat. I believe it was like 6 injections I gave myself a night to get these little guys to grow so we can have them removed. The medication was delivered to my house and had to be stored in the fridge and reconstituted for each injection. It was very unnerving if I was doing it correctly. One time I used the same needle 3 times to make sure I got out every last drop of the meds because I did not want to mess this up as they were timing Stephanie’s menstrual cycle with mine. One mistake and the whole cycle would have been shot. I later sheepishly told the doctor what I had done and they just laughed. Apparently intelligent people are the worst patients as we tend to go a little overboard with following the rules.

I ended up yielding about 22 eggs. I was so bloated that I could not even get my pants on my legs. I was at the point of hyperstimulation and they were worried about fluid getting on my lungs. I vowed to be chill and relax until the procedure date. The last step was an intramuscular injection in my buttock. I knew I could not do this myself when I saw the girth of the needle and I knew there was no way that Brian could do it…..so I went to my mother. I flopped down on her bed with my booty in the air and said, ok, I am ready. Her last words were as a retired nurse, ‘I haven’t done this in about 30 years’.

<SLAM>

Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

My mom: I’M SORRRRRRYYYYYY!!!!

Me: OMG JUST GET IT OUT, HURRY UPPPP

My mom: IT’S DONE, IT’S DONE!

Me: ok. I am going home now.

The procedure. Oh, the procedure. It may have benefited me to read the hand out I was given on this but dealing with my lawyer, the lawyer I hired for Stephanie, by this point I had arranged for Stephanie to have BCBS of Texas thru the Cattle Rancher’s Association and was working on this too, so I was a wee bit busy. I was laying on the table and they said they used a fine needle to go thru the vaginal wall and then to the ovary.

WTF.

All I could think was back to Bio and allowing the little eggs to travel the fallopian tubes. Nope. Not happening. Lucikly they hit me with enough BDZ that I could still breath, but I had to remain awake.

Brian got to leave for ten minutes to leave his deposit. I am still slightly bitter that his contribution was not much different than most men’s regular hobbies.

The rest of the magic was courtesy of test tubes and Stephanie. I like to think you cannot spell uterus without ‘us’.

Needless to say the Cattle Rancher’s Association got smart to all the surrogates using their insurance and now there is a surrogacy clause excluding its use for that. So our next wee one is completely out of pocket, or I should say more so than this guy.

I have learned a lot of lessons along the way and what I am capable of and how to truly make the impossible happen. Even with a year birthday looming I am not sure how we did what we did. When people say money cannot buy you happiness I cannot help to think, ‘well than you clearly never hired a surrogate’ — or adopted. Neither process is cheap- both monetarily and emotionally. I want Gianluca to know that as funny as it is to look back and complain about the process I would do it again for him and I want him to have a sibling to share  his own hopes and dreams with someday.

Which brings me to my new adventure. I want to have a project that I can pour my creativity and energy into and earn money to go towards our family building plans, whether that be surrogacy, adoption or both.

Introducing Grace Adele   ~~~~~~~~~~~~  scantamburlo.graceadele.us

I love fashion. I love baubles. I love accessories, shoes, clothes, winter coats, just all of it. So this naturally seemed like a perfect fit. You can design your own style and tie your whole outfit together to pop. I truly believe that it is not what you wear, it is how you wear it. When you feel confident, you feel beautiful.

I love purses. The beauty of these bags is you switch out a couple pieces to refresh your look and not have to change an entire bag….of course, unless you want to!

If you are interested in having a party and getting your girlies together and having me come in and host an event, please let me know. I would be thrilled. Plus, I am fun.   I have all the swatches and samples so you can develop a look that fits your personality.

You can also go directly to my site and order as well.

The best part is Brian says he will help me with whatever I need along the way. It may not be the conventional way to start a family but there is not a day that goes by that I don’t recognize the miracle we have.

Please visit scantamburlo.graceadele.us — THANK YOU!

Support the Arts- in the form of facials and pedis, please

I feel this inherent need to apologize for the lack of aesthetics when it comes to my blogging. Poor Anika sends me all these links and fabulous tips how to make your work look fabulous and I simply have not even had time to write anything. That and sometimes I sit there and think I don’t even have anything worth while to write without boring people to tears. I’m like the friend that wears sandals too tight without a pedicure, still uses a banana clip and talks ad nauseum about the weather at dinner parties. Guess what hoser, we all know what the damn weather is, we were all outside there prior to meeting up in here. God Bless her, Anika tries, but I am destined temporarily to be that friend with the messy blog. At least until Gianluca can change his own diapers.

Which brings me to an important point. You need time to decompress. It is not selfish or beyond anyone’s means to take time out for yourself to reenergize your batteries. Any woman can tell you that when you think you look better you feel better as well. It just helps push out that inner confidence. Think of it as sloughing off all the bad vibes.

Groupon and Living Social are great for deals- but everyone else with an email just got alterted to that great deal. So now that $15 pedi means you have a 1:15 appt on a Tuesday- because that was all that was available for the next 6 weeks. Awesome.

I like to feel I am contributing to society in some way and saving a few bucks, so I started to utilize the Douglas J Institutes- they are Aveda schools of beauty and in a LOT of cities. http://douglasj.com/

Some people thumb their nose up at the idea of going to a beauty school- well, I doubt your 80 year old woman over at Super Cuts is doing as bang up of a job as my soon to be graduating student who has their work checked over by an instructor before I leave. You learn by being in school- you learn by doing. I did not walk out of my physician assistant studies asking who wanted to have a breast augmentation or knee replacement and started doing them in my backyard. I had professionals that acted as instructors allowing me the privilege to work on people.

The same goes for beauty. I have just about had every service available there. I am an ENORMOUS fan of the 90 minute facial. Oh my, oh my. There is no massage school, but you also get a basic arm, leg and neck ‘massage’ per se. One great tip I picked up from an eager student was that if you wash your face and do not tone it the face wash is no where near as efficacious. I had no idea this was the case and quite honestly no idea if it is true or not, but I bought it, hook, line and sinker. I did not go for the Aveda products. I love Dickinson’s Witch Hazel. You can purchase it literally anywhere. Actually, I saw an advertisement on their website you can get it FREE right now at Walgreen’s with a mail in rebate. I know where I am going after work. http://www.dickinsonsusa.com/index   I just wipe it over my face with a cotton swab after I wash my face, both morning and night.

Just so you are aware- you do get pretty nekky for the facial. They have you wrap in a towel, but you may leave your underwear on. I suppose my lack of inhibition took over when I failed to tell my mother this when I took her one day and she was saying after, ‘they told me ALL my clothes. I was like ALL my clothes??’ Yeah. My dad wears clothes all the time too, so I am not sure where this naked recessive gene came from…..

Pedis and manis are great, they do massage and warm towels and lotion and the works. I simply love them from the relaxation standpoint. I personally don’t think the polish lasts as long though as when I get it done elsewhere, but the process is oh-so-worth-it. What I plan to do the next time I go is bring my Orly basecoat bonder. No, I am not joking.

Each one I have been in…I actually went to the one in East Lansing while Brian and my family went to a football game….is fabulous. They are nicer than some salons in which I have been. You can’t beat Aveda used products, either. They smell so delicious and aren’t as harsh. I don’t buy the stuff because of the price, but I do like it a lot.

Make sure you have the time when you make your appointment and ask how long the appointment is booked for to stave off any surprises. Keep in mind these are students that are graded on their work and want to impress you as well. I never high fived any surgeon after cutting into someone’s femur- ‘I just knocked off 45 seconds from my personal best, bitches!!!’.

You can find an extremely competitive is not forgiving price listing on the websites and services listed for each salon. Additional other perks are that you get to keep the bottle of polish with a mani or pedi and if you go for both regardless if you do the same color on both, you get two bottles. Because it is a school, no tips are accepted. Just honest and constructive criticism.

Cheap Eats for a Good Time

My focus should be inexpensive sundries and fabulous salon services, but I felt the breadth of me as a human being was going to get lost between mascara and shoes.

I like having company. Family, friends, neighbors. I just like the idea of getting together with a group of people and laughing. I am also slightly obsessed with Mexican food. (And sushi. And Lebanese dishes).

One dish I love is chilaquiles- (chee la key lays for the phoenetic readers).  Basically the main part of the dish are eggs and fried tortilla chips, then you complement as desired. Sure, it may not be ‘authentic’ in presentation as I adapted for my home’s tastes, but I grew up in Dearborn. And I am not Mexican, so cut me some slack.

I merely adjust the recipe for the number of people I need to serve or how many leftovers I want- this past week I made this for five hungry adults.

1. Scramble a dozen eggs in one pan. Season with salt and pepper as desired.

2. In a separate pan in olive oil sautee two onions that have been cut in small pieces and 2-3 cloves of garlic chopped in small pieces. Sometimes depending on my vegetable selection I chop up sweet peppers too and throw them in.

3. In another pan heat olive oil to the point of bioling. Carefully crumble tortilla chips over the pan and quickly fry the chips around the pan. I never let the chips sit long without moving it around so they all evenly fry. If your hands are too close the oil will pop back at you .

4. Then mix the two pans of ingredients in the scrambled egg pan

5. I then serve it with warmed flour tortilla shells. We use a variety of condiments- black beans, refried beans, guacamole, salsa and cheese.

Sometimes I mix the items in a bowl and eat it like that, it looks simply awful but tastes amazing. Even people that are not partial to eggs really enjoy the dish. You can also set the chips aside and allow them to get stale and mix them in, but I just fry them instead for the cooked crunch.  I typically just make this dish when I see I have eggs that need to get used as opposed to planning in advance enough to stale my chips.

Invite your least flatulent friends. If not you are stuck listening to your husband and your friend fighting over whose turn it is in fart tennis. I wish I was lying. I wish I could say we sit around and have philosophical conversations on how Capitalism is not evil and our contributions to the betterment of man. Nope. We watch ‘Take Me Out’ and I have to referree fart tennis matches.

 The best part of this dish though is you can make it as healthy or fatty as you like- you can use egg whites and cut back on the sides, or add sour cream and lots of cheese. I always buy fat free refred beans. I don’t think Brian realizes the difference. Black beans have a ton of fiber in them and fresh salsa cannot be beat. I also found mixing fire roasted diced canned tomatoes to the guacamole gives it a little kick as well.

When I am feeling proactive I also fry potatoes in one pan with olive oil– I never use anything else- and never butter– which is another reason Brian secretly loathes living with me. In another pan I satuee onions and any other veggies I want to throw in, as well as garlic. Mix it all together and cover with salsa or cheese, or stick in my bowl of everything else I stuck in there. Delish.

Try it, try it, try it. If you don’t trust yourself to cook at least try the dish at an authentic Mexican restaurant- you will love it.

I thought I looked ok

Working with the severely mentally ill has its challenges, and in many ways they are the same challenges when working with children. You never know exactly what will come out of someone’s mouth and whether or not they fully appreciate that magnitude of what they meant to say or if they even understand what was said. While I am at it I will just lump the elderly in there, too.

Case in point-

Brian and I are taking the baby out tonight to the art museum to have a family outing. As I am coming from work I put my hair up and tried to make it trendy to just walk from here over there and I knew I certainly did not want it hanging in my face all day.

I went to get a patient and asked her how she was. Exchanging obligatory salutations she then asked me how I was- I informed her I was tired. She said, you don’t look tired- you look quite perky! Before I could even breathe she stated, you are just having a bad hair day.

Awesome.

Then I remind myself where I work. And that my niece said it was neat I was in my 40s. That I used to stuff my shoes with my mother’s maxi-pads and loudly announce I had in my Dr. Scholl’s and my feet felt fine! That my grandmother loses concept of what an indoor voice is when we are at places like funerals and she wants to tell me something on the sly.

Be damned banana clip and scrunchy, there is a new hair accessory in town. The spiral bobby pin. They are well worth the $3-6. The directions state to use two, but I often hold my hair up, depending on the style with just one. It does not pull like a ponytail holder and gives a slightly more ‘elegant’ look. They hold tight as well- I remember it being advertised as taking the place of up to 10 bobby pins? They also come in different lengths and colors, as well. Obviously thicker hair may need 3-4 separate pins, but I love the look of no pin, no hair tie or horrible accessory. It gives a more sophisticated, natural look. I like them so much I came THISCLOSE to trying to make my own my firing up the gril and heating old bobby pins and twisting them. But I started to think there was a lot that could go wrong with that.

http://www.goody.com/Products/Hair%20Accessories/Simple%20Styles%20Spin%20Pin

The primary reason I love them so much is they fit so snugly that you can create some volume and the pin will hold the style. They also will not pull out your hair like a fit fitting bobby pin can. Don’t act like they don’t. It took Brian 45 minutues to unhook my weave on our wedding night as it was literally pinned in with about 300 pins. What a romantic evening that was….

 

Hair today, gone tomorrow. But back the next.

If body hair bothers you or being offended, I probably wouldn’t read any further. If you want to laugh at other people’s misery, welcome, welcome.

Ever since I have been lucky enough to receive a kidney transplant, I have been lucky enough to take anti-rejection medications. Which also means I have been lucky enough to grow lots of hair. LOTS of it. Everywhere.

If there is a hair removal method out there, I have tried it. So here is the good, the bad, the ugly and the &#^%%@ that hurt.

Because of my ability to grow massive quantities of hair, I tend to do a lot of my own ‘grooming’. First it is less expensive, second I would spend all my free time in a salon. When it comes to larger construction projects like reshaping, I leave it to the professionals.

Jennie at Velvet Nail Lounge In Troy is a must if you want someone to wax and sculpt your brows. I know when I get done I will have PERFECT brows. She is very tedious when it comes to detail and does not leave stragglers behind. She will also explain why she is shaping the brow the way she does. Most importantly, she listens when I explain to her I am not a stripper nor recently initiated into an ethnic street gang and would like to have some body to my brow. I have literally walked in with eyebrows that look like they need their own pair of underwear and walked out with an amazing set of brows- that match. Ladies, you need someone else to help you with this sometimes. It is ok. http://www.velvetnaillounge.com/ 

When I undergo my own projects I wax my face with Gigi’s microwave wax- obviously by context clues, I heat it in the microwave, schmear it with the little spoon onto my upper lip and chin and it hardens after a minute or so and then you just rip it off. No linen cloths or sticky mess. It is so easy. Then I throw the tub back in the drawer. It cools almost instantly. I usually only buy the sensitive formula is the other is sold out. In all my years of using it, I never have had a problem. http://www.sallybeauty.com/microwave-tweezeless-wax/GIGI19,default,pd.html

I don’t wax my own brows anymore- I just tweeze. I know there are cardinal rules on the tweeze only camp versus those wielding wax sticks, but I just don’t care quite honestly. The best tweezers I ever owned were Tweezerman. The key to having a clean look is to get the little light hairs that are impossible to see and even more so impossible to pick up. These tweezers have such a sharp, fine edge I never have a problem getting the smallest hair. When I first bought them I was slightly miffed they cost as much as they did, but now I see them as a great investment. I actually can extend time between tweezing sinec I get such a clean look. http://www.tweezerman.com/

I never use any chemical method or cream to do hair removal. The two I have tried have left me with a rash and I have just accepted this will never work for me.

As for Brazilian waxing. My first time I thought, oh, I rip hair off my face, this cannot be so bad. I went and got a sticky sugar kit and went to town. As soon as I put the linen strips on and smoothed them out it hit me. I CAN’T RIP THIS SH!T OFF! So I did what any rational person would do. I called my mother in the bathroom. She walked in. Then she walked out. From the other side of the door she said, I am NOT ripping that off. I said, How the EFF am I going to get this off? After a slight dscourse it was decided this was my problem. Twenty minutes in the shower of scrubbing and the wax came off. Without hair. Leave this to professionals. Even when I had a professional do it ONE time I thought I was going to kick her teeth into her throat. Which got me thinking….there has to be an easier way….

LASER!

All my fair skinned blonde mommas, save your dough. I tried laser upstairs (upper lip) and down and while I was undergoing sessions the hair growth was slowed, but as soon as I stopped- it grew back. I still wax a mustache and I still shave. The only good things out of the southern session were the stories and the little tip my girl told me her ‘friend’ told her that happened to be an exotice dancer. When you shave and don’t want red bumps, immediately cleanse the area with alcohol- it will hurt at first, but staves off the red bump syndrome. I have yet to see if it works because I don’t have rubbing alcohol to do such and I am just throwing this out there, I have been too lazy to even try it.

Just in case you need to know if you are on the fence. It hurts. A lot. It feels like something is on fire the same time it is being frozen. Tons of people do it though and my friends with darker hair tend to fare better than the fair ones. It has something to do with the follicle not accepting the laser or some business like that. It was worth the arugment I had with my friend about how much she was going to get lasered- she was scared to do it all. I informed her ‘bush’ will never be in and if it were to be I would buy her a merkin. For the amount we both screamed and also laughed at each other’s pain you’d think that we’d be smooth sailing. I would never do this for full price, get a groupon or living social. They come out just about daily. Detroit must be full of hairy sonsabeetches.

My newest discovery is a brand of product named ‘Coochy’. The name alone should tell you this probably can only be found at the finer establishments. I found the entire line at www.pinkapple.com, but I suppose you could find this on a variety of online websites. I stocked up when Lover’s Lane had the 50% off sale. So far it is the best shave cream I have ever used. I also used the protection powder after and that is really great, too. Laugh if you want, but I am doing women everywhere a service.

Someday I want to be brave enough to try Vaniqa prescription cream. Until then I will just forcibly remove hair from my face with copious amounts of hot wax. And continue to use my men’s razor on my legs because I think nothing else comes closer to the skin, even if it does disgust my husband to no end. (Mach 3, get it!!)